What Scares You?
Last week I asked my kids, “What is something that scares you?”
(side note: I don’t actually have kids, it’s just how I refer to the elementary school kids I counsel)
Given that it’s Halloween I got a lot of kids answering, “haunted houses,” “monsters in scary movies,” or “people jumping out behind things.”
But then the older kids, mostly the boys, responded with “nothing scares me!” Not fully believing their answers, I questioned them a little further, “Was there anything that scared you before, but doesn’t scare you now?”
One 8-year-old boy said, “Well, maybe I guess. I remember when I was little, like 7 and a half. Back then I got scared once. I was sitting in my bed sleeping and I heard noises! Like really weird noises upstairs. So I thought it was a monster, but I think it was just the neighbors doing stuff. I was just a little scared then. But that was when I was 7 or maybe it was only 6 years old. Now I’m not scared of stuff.”
Looking at my own life I realize I’m pretty similar to my pint-sized clients. I can acknowledge past fears, but the ones I’m currently facing are a bit harder to articulate. Maybe they feel a little too real for me. I’m still waiting for the man behind the curtain to reveal his master plan that lets me know my fears are just all make believe.
If only life were that simple.
So instead of hopelessly waiting for my fears to dissipate on their own, I figure I might as well own up to them right here and now. Here goes.
I’m scared….
Something bad will happen to someone I love.
I won’t find my dream job.
I won’t be able to have children.
I’ll screw up my marriage somehow.
I won’t ever be happy with my body.
I’ll let this blog fail.
I won’t be able to help my therapy clients.
And one last one because this list needs some comic relief:
Clowns, Cottage Cheese, and those stuffed pets that look like their breathing. They really do freak me out.
Call me a scaredy-cat, call me a wimp, or even tell me “Lindsey, there’s nothing to be afraid of.”
Just don’t ever say that I’m not honest. I’m not scared to do that.
Now it’s your turn, what scares you?
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I have a lot of the same fears as you. I’m scared:
My blog won’t be successful (I mostly mean people won’t read it).
I’ll need to go back to working in a cubicle for financial reasons.
I’ll never love my body (this is a constant work in progress).
My marriage won’t always be as happy and fulfilling as it is today.
I’ll one day realize I’m “old” and have regrets about things I wish I had done when I was physically able.
It’s tough to talk about this stuff, but it’s comforting to know that other people have similar fears. Thanks for putting yourself out there.
Thanks for sharing your fears too! It’s funny just blogging about these things makes all those fears seem so much smaller than when I just kept them in my head. And people will definitely read your blog, it’s wonderful!
I think my own fears are also hard to articulate, mostly because there are times I feel numb to my own situations, if that makes sense (it probably doesn’t.) But I will say that I’m anxious about many of the same things as those listed above, which I assume to be common anxieties for most people (loss, death, etc.)
For me, I guess I fear that this is all there is, in that this is all I’ll really be doing with my life. I also fear that in terms of my health and physical/mental well-being, that this is “me.” That sounds much darker than I intend, but I get frustrated and wonder if there really is something bigger I should be aspiring to. I fear that my creativity will dry up and I won’t be able to write anything anymore, that somehow my job will be yanked from me and I’ll be up crap creek without a paddle, etc. But I also know that fear can be a driving force behind hard work, appreciation and perspective, so I try and use it for good and not evil!
However, I am ALWAYS scared when I accidentally hit the garbage disposal switch instead of the light above my sink. Every. Single. Time.
I love your comments. Every. Single. Time. And I completely 100% agree with everything you wrote, even the “dark” stuff. That’s the stuff that forces me to write.
Hi Lindsey, thanks for writing such a great post and sharing your fears with us. I actually just wrote about one of my greatest fears today as well: driving in the snow. I’m also scared of spiders, centipedes and icebergs. On a more serious note, I am afraid of never having children and never writing a novel.
I agree with Amanda, it’s tough to talk about your fears but opening up actually helps sometimes
Thanks for sharing!
Icebergs, I never would have thought of that one! And writing a novel – I agree! I would love to publish a book, kind of similar to my fear of not finding the dream job and letting this little blog disappear. Perhaps if we say them out loud they won’t come true?
I have similar fears to you, actually – although reading them actually made me realize I’m afraid of those things. I have a tendency to push things I don’t want to think about out of my mind in a rash attempt for self preservation. My ultimate fear is that I will have a child that I fail – that one way or another my child will end up resenting me, or that I will resent my child for whatever reason. My second most prevalent fear is that my husband will die in a car accident. Which, I guess is sort of dumb, but sort of not, ya know? I saw a therapist for a time, and when she asked me what my biggest fear was, it was “watching my life sail by” which is also sorta cliched. Can I just be afraid of being a cliche?
I love all of these…although I realize it’s kind of weird I’m “loving” your fears. Maybe I should instead say I completely agree with them all. I think your last one, ‘watching my life sail by’ is up there for me too. It goes wayyy too quick!
I’m afraid of humans who don’t respect the lives of others. I’m afraid of the tyrants, using the differences of human origin to wage war against the innocents. I’m afraid of terrorism, which uses the good name of Gd in vain, in their political interests, leaving the fanatics kill and die for causes that could be resolved through dialogue and respect.
Wow very powerfully said.
Hmm… thanks for this
Hi! Thank you so much for your comment on my blog the other day. I just clicked over here and I am obsessed with your blog already. So well written and insightful. Your fear that your blog will fail will definitely not be realized – this blog is an example of what blogging is really all about.
I am so interested in your psychology education/career. I’ve had a really strong desire to go back to school myself to become a therapist (not for kids, they scare me – one of my fears) but I’m terrified (another one) that I don’t have the dedication, money, strength, determination (basically, the balls) to do it. You’re awesome for pursuing it!
I’ll stop gushing now (I’m not usually like this, haha), but again thanks, and I’m definitely going to read forever now