Over the weekend I went to the Orioles baseball game. The weather was quintessential spring – crisp air, but warm enough to be sporting a t-shirt in the sunshine.

Sitting in the sun and eating a ballpark hotdog with fabulous company – I was unequivocally happy.

Somehow in the middle of the game we struck up a conversation with the couple behind us. An adorable husband and wife from Utah who were visiting Baltimore for the day. The wife, who was decked out in the sparkliest baseball attire I had ever seen and a smile that lit up a room, leaned in to ask the distance between here and Delaware.

“It’s about 1.5 hours away. But there really isn’t much to see there.” I said.

“Oh it doesn’t matter what’s there! We just want to pop over the state line and grab some food.”

She went on to explain her and her husband were in the midst of traveling up and down the east coast making an effort to travel to all 50 states over the next several years. We talked about how they were going to make it to Alaska, her recent jaunts to Hawaii, and future expeditions in the Midwest. She then doled out some words of wisdom – the key to traveling is giving up the itinerary. Forgo the detailed to-do list and just roll with adventure.

“I used to plan everything out to the last minute! That was until one vacation, oh lordy. I had an hour-by-hour itinerary – which we followed for a couple days. But he was miserable, I was frustrated. Eventually he just grabbed the darn thing out of my hands and ripped it to shreds! So from then on out we just hop in the car and go. In fact, we were in DC this morning, got these baseball tickets from someone on the street, and now we’re off to Delaware.”

Then she looked me straight in the eye and said, “Girl, I can tell you are a planner. Just give it up. You’ll have way more fun.”

And off she skipped in her sequined top and rhinestone earrings. Hand-in-hand with her husband, both with big smiles on their faces.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

As a lover of all things organized and predictable I am hesitant to jump aboard the no-plans train. But when I think of my favorite memories, it’s the random, unexpected adventures that stand out. It’s not the perfectly orchestrated dinner parties that go down in my top 10. Instead it’s those last minute get togethers that everyone brings whatever dish they could whip up yet everything tastes amazing. Then somehow it’s unanimously decided it’s an occasion for champagne and s’mores because it’s Tuesday and summer. Before you know it an impromptu jam session is taking place and suddenly it’s 1:30 in the morning. You are surrounded by some of your favorite people, and have a huge smile on your face. It’s those nights you realize Life. is. Good.

It’s all about being open to the messages life sends our way. So girl, let go of the plans and enjoy the ride.

(or in my case, enjoy the ride on the dragon paddle boats around the inner harbor because I will always be 5 years old at heart)

It’s recipe time! Yay yay yay yay!

It’s been too long since I’ve posted something delicious on here. And the funny thing is I take pictures of my food allll the time. It’s a little obnoxious. I have been known to run my plate outside to get the best lighting before the sun sets (dinner photos are hard in the winter time!). Or take my bowl and place it in a precarious situation like dangling on the side of the trashcan because the shadows look just right at that angle. Now I get the question before we start eating, “Where’s your camera? Aren’t you going to take a photo of this?”

All of that is to say (a) I’ve got some issues and (b) I have a ton of recipes to show you. One of them being this awesome breakfast casserole.

I love love love breakfast.

Eggs, oatmeal, pancakes, cereal, french toast, bacon….mmmmm bacon.

I honestly don’t understand people who “forget” to eat breakfast. I wake up starving and excited for food. Is that weird?

I don’t think so, I think it’s awesome.

Kind of like how I think the lighting of this photo is awesome.

FYI – Morning is a great time for pictures. It’s like the food is saying, pleasssse take a photo of meeeee!

Obviously you must oblige.

Especially when it’s a rainbow of colors. I mean seriously it’s like peppers and onion confetti!

That’s what I want for my 31st birthday – a breakfast themed party!

Everyone can come over my house in the morning. Pjs are required, no makeup, and hair in messy buns.

We’ll drink mimosas and whip up oodles of breakfast dishes to try. Oh and don’t forget the coffee! Pots and pots of coffee, with irish cream in it of course.

I guess I could just have a sleepover since you’ll all be coming over in the morning anyways.

It will be the good kind of sleepover where you stay up late and watch 80′s movies while eating ice cream and cookies and s’mores.

Of course there will lots of laughing. Laughing until you can’t breathe or even remember why your laughing in the first place. It doesn’t even matter the joke, you’re doubled over almost peeing your pants.

Peeing-your-pants-laughing-while-eating-delicious-breakfast kind of birthday. Can we make that happen next year??

You all are invited of course. I’ll make this breakfast casserole. Oh and btw it’s healthy, which means you can have drink another mimosa and eat 1 more slice of bacon.

SliceS of bacon. Who am I kidding.

Pets are invited too (sorry no cats – I’m allergic).

Dogs love breakfast and sneaking extra pieces of bacon and pancakes while you aren’t looking.

Breakfast Egg Casserole

12-14 large eggs (beaten)
4 peppers, chopped (any color)
1/2 red onion, chopped
1 lb ground turkey
1/2 tbsp Creole Seasoning
1/2 tbsp Coconut Oil

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
2. Brown ground turkey with creole seasoning and set aside in coated non-stick 10 x 12 baking dish
3. While turkey is browning chop peppers and onions. Combine in large bowl.
4. Coat cooking pan in coconut oil and soften peppers and onion mixture over medium heat. Coat for 5-7 minutes until soft but still slightly firm (they will continue cooking in oven). Pour cooked peppers over turkey and set aside.
5. Beat eggs until smooth. You can do this by hand, but using a mixer is better.
6. Pour eggs on top of turkey and pepper mix.
7. Cook in oven (uncovered) for 20-25 minutes until firm.

I topped mine with homemade salsa (but not everyone loves the salsa quite like I do, so it’s optional)

PS – In order to officially be invited to my birthday you need to tell me your favorite breakfast dish, so leave it in the comments and I’ll add you to the VIP list.

And while you are at it, tell me what 80′s movie you’re bringing for the sleepover. Troop Beverly Hills anyone??

I started Crossfit this week so technically I’m not a Crossfit virgin anymore, but until I do one of the “Benchmark Girls of Crossfit” I don’t think my cherry has been popped.

That brings me to thought #1: If you didn’t think you were perverted before, welcome to workout world of sexual innuendos.

Snatches and Thrusters and Clean & Jerks. Lots of leg spreading, pelvis thrusting, hip popping, and half nakedness walking around.

I was told to “make love to the wall” several times. What no snuggle time brick wall? Fine be that way. Jerk.

Then I was making love to the floor after too many handstand pushups.

Coaches shouting that I need to work on my “stripper moves” and shove my ass back on squats.

My hips weren’t thrusting enough so I got schooled on how to “fuck the air” better.

Basically the goal of Crossfit is to be laid out sweaty and panting on the floor at the end. Just like sex, minus the orgasm.

Thought #2: Good lord am I competitive.

I’ve always been competitive, but never knew how to channel it. I’m mostly competitive with myself #onlychildproblems, but when it comes to fitness the inner competitor comes out in full force. It’s not that I want others to lose, I just want to be as good if not better than my opponents.

When that clock starts in Crossfit I’m in warrior mode. 3, 2, 1…oh my fucking god I better haul ass right now! But it takes the presence of others and a timer ticking away to get me in the right mindset. There is no way I would be pushing myself that hard alone. Standing next to someone who is giving it their all is total motivation.

Thought #3: Sorry step class you just got served.

Step, kick, clap, turn step, kick, knee repeater, clap clap, pony up….oh I’m sorry but I just can’t do it anymore!!

I’m here to tell ya there ain’t no step-ball-changing in Crossfit.

Step classes were the surprising kickstart to getting my body back after gaining the freshman 15+ in college. I loved the choreography, it was a mental challenge, and it was a good workout. But after several years of doing the standard gym classes I got burnout and quite frankly plain bored. In fact, I was getting more annoyed by the lady in front of me who couldn’t seem to get the step, clap, shuffle down correct that I was about to throw a shoe at her head! When you’re getting more frustrated at the gym than relieved, it’s time to switch it up.

Thought #4: I need to go shopping.

One surprising side-effect of Crossfit is the sudden urge to go shopping. Apparently I need new shoes now! And new shirts with fun slogans! And headbands, like millions and millions of headbands! And knee high socks! And hand wraps! And gobs and gobs of first aide supplies!

Yay!! I love buying new things!! Oh wait, where’d my savings all go?

So maybe I shouldn’t blow my next paycheck on all these goodies that I must have. Perhaps I should wait till I actually can get kipping pullup? Or do an oversquat without freaking out and getting weak in the knees?

Oh screw it, patience has never been my strong point. I want those Reebok Crossfit shoes now.

Thought #5: I curse. A whole fucking lot.

I was going to add &%^$*% to make this post more PG, but it ain’t happening. I’m normally sweet as pie in everyday conversation. But when you get me fired up, the shit that comes out of my mouth will make a sailor blush.

And let’s be honest, fuck is the best word to shout out when your killing it at the gym. Or want to roundhouse kick the motherfucker who created the burpee.

Thought #6: I am an athlete.

Ok, let’s end on a serious note. The thing I love most about starting Crossfit, is the fact that I get to embody my inner athlete. I’ve always struggled to think of myself as an athlete because I never played competitive sports growing up. In fact, I’ve never played a team sport EVER. As a kid I was a fast runner, constantly on the monkey bars, picked early in dodgeball, and could climb the ropes like a champ.

But somewhere between middle and high school I lost my athletic drive. The focus was on being skinny and looking cute. It remained that way until recently.

It’s still tough for me to fully embrace this competitive warrior inside me. It’s the voice inside telling me “Yes, you are good enough, strong enough, talented enough to be standing next to these people.”

Damn straight motherfuckers.

Alright Crossfit lunatics, I wanna know what your thoughts are!

Is Murph going to kill me??

Today I took a step back and took some time to take in my life. Not just my to-do list life, but my in-the-moment life.

The freckles splattered across my face.

The little girl curls at the nape of my neck.

The lingering scar on my right forearm.

How the sun feels on my face after too many winter days gone by.

The feel of my feet hitting the pavement when running.

The sunset colors splashed across my apple.

The endless pat-pat-pattering of the computer keys dancing below my bitten-down nails.

There is something consoling about the little things that don’t change in the world. It’s these details of my life that have helped propel me through difficult times.

They are tiny reminders that there is still beauty in the world. Amazing beauty hidden from view until the light hits your eye just right.

So why do I neglect these details all too often?

I want to rush past the fine print and get to the big finale.

Just tell me how the story ends not the everyday nuances in between.

Flip to the last chapter and promise me there is a happy ending.

Let me know everyone ends up okay.

Except you can’t tell the story without the details.

It’s just characters waiting for their lines.

Studio sets without the props.

It’s simply a movie scene and not reality.

It’s the everyday hellos, goodbyes, drives to work, packed lunches, disaster dinners, loads of laundry, muddy floors, grocery lists, teeth brushing, email checking, dog walking, gas station stopping, check depositing, egg cracking, trash taking, foot stubbing, bed making, handshakes, hugs, kisses, door slams, wine bottles opening, remote clicking, dishes unloaded, clothes choosing, stomach pinching, contact cleaning, head shaking, nodding, conference calls listening, the tuning out, the tuning in, radio blaring, light switching, hot water turning, hair drying, pillow fluffing, sheets crumpling, coffee sipping, key finding, curtain pulling, door opening, direction checking, car parking, eye rubbing, shoe tying, coat zippering, note taking, paper crumpling, nail biting, toilet flushing, mile running, weight lifting, smiling, giggling, yawning, to-do list writing that make our lives.

And I’m grateful for it all. Daily reminders that I’m alive and just trying to get through this life like everyone else.

I couldn’t sleep last night.

I actually haven’t been able to sleep well for the past 2 nights which is uncharacteristic of me. When my head hits the pillow at 9:30pm (I think 80 year olds stay up later than me) I am out cold. Except for those lovely nights my eyes pop open at 3am and I’m doing mental gymnastics in my head cause that’s always fun.

Instead of fighting the sleep monster, I gave in today.

Fine brain, if you want to do work at 4am then that’s what we’ll do. But I’m warning you, 3pm this afternoon is gonna be a bitch.

Since I’m trying to be all sunshine and rainbows and sprinkles(!!) at this godforesaken hour I figured I would list out some things that make me smile.

1. Coffee. I’m on cup 2 and I’m convinced it’s liquid gold sent from the gods. I will be on cup 5 by the afternoon and it will be more twitchy than amazing.

2. Feedly. I got the startling news yesterday that my beloved Google Reader was going to be no more on July 1. And just like a bad breakup I got the news via a pop-up warning. Like wtf Google?? I thought we had something good going? You’ve supported me through thick and thin, richer and poorer (ok more on the poor side), and bad day or not. But whatevs, I’m like so totally Taylor-SWift style over with you. I found someone new. He name is Feedly and he’s awesome and pretty and more organized than you will ever be. No seriously he really is.

3. Crossfit. I’m starting it tomorrow. Like wha???? I’m so crazy excited and nervous all at once. I feel like it’s my first day at school and I don’t know what to wear. I want to be all cool and show up in a Beastmode Paleo shirt and neon striped knee high socks cause I’m all cool like that. And I’ll be all like, “WOD up bitches???? Let’s do this thang!!” Except I won’t be like that at all and instead I’ll wear my lululemon pants and pink shirt and smile and blush incessantly hoping to God I don’t pass out on my first day.

4. Cheesecake. And not just any cheesecake, peanut butter, chocolate crunch cheesecake. Ok so here’s the deal, I don’t even like cheesecake. I’m more of a brownies and cookies girl. Cake, eh, it’s not really my thing. And cheesecake, eh, I can do without. Except like I totally can’t now. I ate half a slice last night and it was heaven in my mouth. And then this morning, I ate the rest. Who eats cheesecake at 4am??? Help. me.

5. Thrift Shop. So I feel like this song is on the verge of not being cool anymore, but I’m obsessed. I bop around in my car jamming out and singing along thinking I’m all hip (but obviously I’m not cause I just used the word ‘hip’). Fav line: ‘Probably shoulda washed this, smells like R. Kelly’s sheets….pisssss’ Lyrical genius.

Oh and I’m blaring the song now. The neighbors love me.

6. This photo. Odds are this is me on any given Saturday. Wine in hand and making an awesome face. I think I was trying to replicate the Natty Boh one-eyed look. Call up Tyra, cause we got a top model on our hands.

7. Umm I ran out of stuff for this list. I think I need more coffee. Or replay the Thrift Shop song and dance around in my pjs. Or scavenge for more cheesecake. Cause that’s what all normal people do at 4am on a Friday morning.

You know you want to be my friend.

Over the past 9 months I’ve completely changed my fitness mindset.

Before my goal was always to be skinny. Lose the butt, drop a pant size or two, flatten the abs, but keep the boobs of course. Size 2 or 4 was the goal.

I got to that goal, for a hot second. I wasn’t eating properly and obsessing over calories just so the number on the scale would match the number in my head. Oh and did I mention I was a raging bitch at the time? Yea, that’s what happens when you deprive your body of the nutrients it deserves and live off fat-free everything.

Once the dieting stopped the weight returned soon after. Paired with some frustration and self-hating too.

This all changed when I decided to drop the skinny fitness mindset and focus on just becoming stronger.

I learned that my body is built for strength.

My shoulders want to heave weights above my head.

My leg yearn for squats.

My back is ready to carry the heavy load.

My feet want to propel off the ground.

My body wants to be strong, not skinny.

When I let my body do it’s thing, it did it. And it keeps doing it day in and day out. I love it.

It’s weird how that happens, right? When you STOP trying to force your body into something skinnier, smaller, bigger because someone else told you that’s what beauty looks like – you will find the results you are looking for.

I’m amazed at what my body can do these days. Each day is a little test – can I do more reps of this? Can I beat my time? Can I add more weight?

Can I do a handstand pushup?

Damn straight I can.

But as any fitness lover knows, you gotta have the right clothes to show up and bring the action.

Ellie Fitness apparel just released their March line and it’s awesome, and their February line is curve-hugging wonderfulness. It hugs all the right places and let’s my body do it’s thing. They have been kind enough to give Morningstar Project readers 20% off their purchases for the month of March!

Click on the link below to check out their site, take the fitness quiz, and pick out your new workout wear!

*This post is sponsored by Ellie Fitness apparel. I’m wearing the After Dark tank and Kiss Me Capri. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

I turned 30 earlier this month. I had big plans to hit publish this post the morning of my birthday. But that didn’t happen because, whelp life got in the way (see lesson #7). I thought about almost canning the whole post since my birthday is long gone. But because I’m (a) stubborn and (b) believer in the better-late-than-never motto I was determined to finish this thing.

So here’s the list that was 3 decades in the making: 30 lessons for 30 years (in no particular order).

1. Be kind. A simple smile and a helping hand go a long way.

2. Take the leap of faith. Some of my choices might not make sense to others, but I believe the 85-year-old me will be happily looking back on my life proud of the risks I took even if it meant falling flat on my face.

3. Sometimes (ok many times) I need this reminder:

4. Wine is glorious.

5. …..but tequila and me are no good together. Thank you freshman year of college.

6. Working out keeps me sane. It also make my butt look nice.

7. Life doesn’t follow your best laid plans. There will be twists and turns that will make you want to hide under the covers and wish for it all to be over. But those I-think-I’m-gonna-throw-up rollercoaster rides will make you grateful for the fact you’re still alive and able to smile.

8. Travel is essential. Every trip I’ve taken (big or small) has had a lasting impact on my soul.

9. Music is a godsend. Shawn Colvin, Indigo Girls, Grace Potter, Ray LaMontagne, Sara Bareilles, Counting Crows, David Gray, Dave Matthews, and of course my girl Britney have gotten me through some tough times.

10. I love celebrity gossip. It’s meaningless brain candy that I gobble up like Britney on the last bag of cheetos. Don’t judge.

11. Laughing is a must:

12. Getting a PhD is as much fun as getting dental work done. It’s painful, lengthy, costly, and half your face will go numb and you’ll wonder if you will ever recover movement in your left eyebrow again. But miraculously it ends and you have a nice shiny set of chompers…or back out into the job market with other overqualified applicants. (I didn’t quite work out that analogy, but you get what I’m saying).

13. Get out of your hometown (for at least a little while). Moving to California was one of the best decisions I ever made. Moving back to Baltimore was equally as rewarding.

14. Write, photograph, document, create. Do something to preserve those everyday moments.

15. My hair has a mind of it’s own. When it wants to be curly, I gotta just let it be curly.

16. I apologize too much, I blush easily, I overanalyze everything, I bite my nails constantly, I’m awful at budgeting, I procrastinate daily, and can’t tell you anything that’s happening in politics. But I love BIG.

17. Everyone has a story and it’s got some baggage. If they haven’t inherited some bumps and bruises along the way, be weary.

18. This is why my soul longs for the ocean:

19. Friends will come and go. Some will stay for the long haul and others will jump aboard your ship for only a short while. I am insanely grateful for all of them.

20. I am my mother’s daughter. Educator, big smile, outgoing, perfectionist, hopeless romantic, soul-searcher, and chapstick addict. I’ve inherited it all.

21. I want to be a mother. And one day I will be.

22. My parents’ relationships (with each other and others) have a lasting impact on how I view love. They certainly aren’t perfect, but I’ve learned so much from them both.

23. Ask for help. Depression and anxiety are always hiding right around the corner. On the days my negative thinking is swirling out of control, I’m glad that I have friends and family who will support me during my darkest days.

24. Irish skin does not tan well. Ok, I’m still in denial about this one.

25. Oh it’s so hard to brave some days. I think I need to get a cape.

26. Relish in life’s imperfect moments. These are the things books are written about, inside jokes are formed, and the memories that get ingrained in your head.

27. Talk to kids. Even on the toughest of days I find talking with children brings a smile to my face and reminds me to let my imagination run wild.

28. Be yourself, because no one else will. For almost 3 decades I tried to fit into someone else’s shoes because that type of life looked “better.” Problem is I don’t wear size 6 (I’m an 8.5 wide), so it’s no wonder I’ve be uncomfortable walking through life all these years.

29. Speaking of shoes, buy the fun ones. Yes the hot pink sparkly ones that I will only wear once in your life. They are frivolous, over-the-top, and need to be in your closet.

30. My all time favorite quote:

I swear I will be writing more in this space. I miss this little blog world so much.

xoxoxo

Lindsey

OK think quick!

what’s the first thing that comes to mind when I say Baltimore?

Crabs, right?? Or maybe you shouted out RAVENS football! Both are totally acceptable. I’m going to ignore those of you who mumbled something about high violence rates, boarded up houses, and the Wire.

If you didn’t know it’s the Super Bowl on Sunday AND the Ravens are playing in it. Whaaaaa???? Seriously Baltimore is freaking the f*$& out right now. People are going nuts and covering themselves in purple paint, kids are spray painting their hair purple, babies are requesting purple milk, dogs are trying to imitate Ray Lewis dances in the streets, and cats…well they are still being lazy bums.

ANYways all of that is to say you need an awesome Baltimore-rific appetizer to bring to your Super Bowl party! These little melty cheesy numbers are it. I mean they combine crab, butter, cheese, mayo, and Old Bay.

My little Baltimore heart just went pitter-pat.

If Ray Lewis were to magically appear in your living room (he has those powers) he would request these bad boys. He would be all teary eyed thanking God that crabs were ever created and that someone (aka YOU!) had the glorious idea that crab should be covered in cheese AND butter AND Old Bay! You would CAWWWW and rejoice to the high heavens together! Then a quick a slide to the left, a slide to the right, a wiggle of the legs, a thrust of the pelvis, a puff of his chest, and a roar – BAM you just did the Ray Lewis dance!

Ingredients
Double package of English muffins
1 lb. crab meat – you can use back fin – doesn’t have to be lump)
1.5 sticks butter
2 jars spreadable cheese (I used WisPride sharp cheddar and Vermont cheddar)
4 tablespoons mayonnaise
.5 tablespoon Old Bay
Few dashes of garlic powder

Directions
1. Mix all the ingredients. Make sure butter and cheeses are room temperature. I softened mine a bit in the microwave to make it easier for mixing.
2. Cut muffins in half. Spread mixture on top each muffin.
3. Put on cookie sheet and freeze.
4. After they are frozen, put in Ziploc baggies and keep frozen.
5. To heat up, put under the broiler for 5 minutes or until the cheese melts.

Makes 48 approximately.

You can thank me when you get to spend the rest of your living days hanging out with #52 during his retirement years. I just ask that you thank the little people who kindly gave you this recipe.

GO RAVENS!!!!!!

Did I seriously pose that question?

Did you seriously throw your whipped cream vodka cocktail in my face?

Either that or you shoved a cupcake in your mouth and gave me a serious eye roll.

Awesome. I knew we would be friends.

Let me start by saying – I hate dieting. Like HATE it. I mean who actually likes giving up delicious treats? Things covered in chocolate are amazing. Things covered in chocolate when paired with wine are even more amazing. So the combo makes my heart go pitter-patter.

But here’s the thing, I can overdo it every once in a while. Like every December when I act like I’ve never eaten a Christmas cookie before and act like I will never ever see a cookie again in my life so I eat one with every meal. And then I decide it’s smart to gulp down those cookies with a glass of red wine and spiced rum. And then I decide to repeat that every day for a month.

Oops. Sorry skinny jeans my black tights and flowy dresses are calling.

So one year I decided I might need to make a change with my sugar cravings. It was either give up the vino or dessert. If you talk with me more than 10 minutes you know I love my wine, so yea dessert was the easier option.

I decided to give it up for Lent (side note: I gave up coffee one year and it was HORRIBLE. I was grumpy, sleepy, and starving all the time. Never again. Ever.) While the first week without my daily sweet treats was tough, the rest was pretty easy. The cravings stopped and if my sweet tooth flared up I would snack on dried fruit.

The best part – I lost 5lbs in 2 months. Clothes started fitting better, workouts were easier, and the guilt that came after every dessert I gobbled up disappeared. It was like dieting made easy. I only had to follow ONE rule – no desserts.

So much easier than the typical 5 million dieting rules – no gluten, no salt, no fat, no fruit, no food from an animal who’s mother’s name was Gertrude. Gahhh! My brain is filled with so many rules already, I don’t need a diet filling my head with more to-do’s.

It was a pretty easy decision to keep no dessert rule in effect after Lent, and I ended up loosing an additional 3lbs the 2 months after. I did end up making some changes to the no-dessert diet because girl can’t go forever without trying some sweets! So I made the rule that I could have one dessert at weddings and birthdays.

I stayed strong until this past December. Stupid Christmas cookies. I vowed to stay good in January, but then some birthdays came up…and some friends made amazing homemade cake…and then the Ravens went to the Super Bowl. Life happens, right?

Now I’m back on the no-dessert wagon. Want to join me? Or perhaps alcohol is easier for you to give up so take out those extra calories and make simple rules for when you can eat dessert. Easy peasy right? You will be amazed at how those sugar craving will disappear.

It’s worth a shot. Get it? Get it? Ok….pass me my wine glass, hold the brownie.

The boss finally gave you that promotion at work.

Congrats my friend you met your goals! Yipee!! You get a gold star! Now wipe that smile off your face and start making the real work happen.

What you wanted to skip around in the sunshiney meadows for a while letting your amazingness sink in? Were you hoping to hear that you don’t need to keep working? Way to rain on the parade Debbie Downer.

Here’s the thing – no one ever talks about the fall out that happens after you meet your goals. And believe me there will be some fallout. Think of it as what happens following the “Happily Ever After” in your life’s Disney movie. It’s the real world stuff that ain’t so fun.

Let me back up a minute and explain how I know these things.

I’ve always wanted to be a psychologist. I knew when I was in middle school after the first time I went to one. It was during some difficult times for our family and I started seeing this therapist so I could “talk about my feelings.” I remember hating him because he just sat there writing (or perhaps doodling) in his notepad and asking me a barrage of questions.

How did it make you feel when your mother said that?
Do you feel close with your father?
Tell me more about how school is going for you.

Perhaps he had a list of questions laminated to his clipboard so he wouldn’t have to think much. Cheat. It was after that I realized I could do a better job listening to kids than this 50-something dude in his Brooks Brothers shirt behind his mahogany desk charging $150 to just scribble.

So I stored that goal in the back of my 13-year-old head. I would make that happen one day. And so I did.

I went college and majored in psychology. On the side I volunteered at residential treatment centers for kids, worked with children with autism, and helped collect data for research projects.

Following college I went on to get my masters in psychology. I learned the art of the research paper. Published my first manuscript in an academic journal, wrote my first book chapter, and presented at my first conference.

I went on to pursue a PhD in clinical and school psychology (i.e., gluten for punishment). Got into my top choice university working with a key player in the field of youth violence. I continued to publish, earned some fellowships along the way, and learned all the skills I would ever need to become a successful child psychologist.

After the 4 years of graduate school I got into my top choice internship placement. It was grueling work emotionally and physically, but it was my best clinical experience to date. Plus, the end was near. I would receive my PhD in Psychology before I knew it.

And I did. June 2012 I walked across that stage and accepted my degree.

And she lived happily ever after……

That’s where I would like to the story to end but of course it doesn’t. Life doesn’t stop after you meet your big goals. In fact, it’s not until after your accomplishments does the rubber meet the road. The real work needs to happen now.

Since graduating I’ve struggled to find my ‘calling’ if you will. I’ve always known how to be a student – follow directions, listen to your advisor, and check off all the boxes. But how do I step out of the shadows of those who came before me? How do I command authority in a meeting? How do I publish the research I’m passionate about? How do I find my drive when the dangling carrot disappeared from view?

I’m here to tell you it’s difficult, but not impossible. It’s a learning process I’m fumbling through but somehow putting one foot in front of the other, albeit rather clumsily. I will make new long-term goals. I will readjust my expectations. But mostly I will seek out the help from others who have successfully pushed through this yay-I-finally-met-my-huge-life-goals-but-oh-shit-now-what-do-I-do phase. Those people are lifesavers.